Just wanted to thank anyone who remembered to say a prayer for me as I had my meeting tonight. It went well. It reminded me of something I read in Vaclav Havel’s book, The Art of The Impossible, that you really cannot say everything that needs to be said in one sitting. I like to think we covered a lot of ground but I am sure we did not cover as much as we could have. In the end, I had to wrap things up earlier than I would have liked so that we could get our kids so there was not as much time for reflective feedback, at least not tonight. I had a nice chat with a friend who drove me home so we could talk and plan to set up some follow up meetings with others to hear what they have to say. I think I will find out just how thick my skin is.
As I rambled on tonight I began to wonder if I am looking for things that I already have, like people who are looking everywhere for their sun glasses which are perched on top of their heads. I have been working through some rough thoughts that are developing into my own church planting axioms. As I spoke some of them out loud tonight for the first time I became aware of some of the tensions that are going on in my soul. It is no wonder I am not sleeping well. But the little bit of feedback I have received so far gives me hope. I have already been challenged to narrate a part of my ecclesial dream in a different way. I also became more aware than ever of just how valuable my process of detox from my church addiction has been and how hard that monkey can be to shake. I still feel “unchurched” in a way but I am now more aware of how beneficail my time away has been. I am very grateful that I did not get sucked back in too quickly. With the help of the people present tonight I realize that I am right were I hoped to be, it just looks a lot different than I expected it to.
At the risk of being really sappy, I feel like I imagine the members of the Corps of Discovery (Lewis and Clark Expedition) did when they made the turn off the Mississippi and began the trek up the Missouri. The actual change was relatively small. They were still travelling upstream against the current of a mighty river. But the symbolic change was very real. Although the journey had been going on for some 17 months before this, the adventure was just beginning. This subtle transition was a huge milestone. Thanks to everyone who participated in the discussion tonight.
I will reflect more on this in the near future after some more feedback. Thanks again for your prayers.
