Knowtown…

“You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em
Know when to fold ‘em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run…”

The last several weeks have been quiet on the ecclesial dreaming front. Silence on this blog does not mean that I have stopped dreaming, however. It is just that I have been in a period of refueling and reflection. I have also been extremely busy with things at work. (Two more days!!!!)

I have been thinking a lot about the past three years. I have been meditating a lot about where I am and how I got here. I have been wondering if I have held too tightly to things I should have let go of and gave up on other things too easily. Obviously one cannot change decisions that were made in the past but I hope I have at least learned some things. But that begs the question just what exactly it is that I have learned. And even if I could put my finger on it could I frame it with words enough to communicate it to others or will it remain forever ineffable? Are lessons that I have learned worth sharing publicly with others in a different context and come from different historical events in their lives?

One thing I think I am learning is that I am not very good at knowing when it is time to talk and when it is time to listen. There is a very powerful force at work in what Henri Nouwen calls the noise of silence. In the past I have been too hasty to replace that noise with the sounds of another (or my own) voice. But there are also times that I know a proclamation of some sort is in order and I have bit my tongue. Both of these errors have been costly for me over the past several years. Based on the horizon I see from my perspective this inability to discern the difference between the time to speak and the time to be silent will continue to haunt me for a long time.

I just got the call. I have been offered and accepted a new job. It is an all around good deal for me. Closer to home, will allow more time for my family, more money, doing stuff I enjoy and am good at (PC support) AND (I know this will sound like the best part to some of you) I will get to work with Mac computers. It will be a rocky start financially as I will be transitioning from being paid twice a month to once a month and may have to go for two months before I get a full check. But after that it should create a lot more opportunities for me to reconnect with my family. But perhaps the best part is I will no longer need to feel the stress and pressure that was beginning to build at my currect job. It is amazing how much stress in your job can impact so many areas in your life. Add to that the stress of looking for a new job and going through interviews and it gets hard, especially for an introvert like me. At anyrate, this news was good news to me and I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my psyche. With some of these distractions gone I feel like blogging. Maybe I will post some thoughts that have been rambling through my mind about why friends don’t let friends plant churches…

This is my first post using my $80 laptop using SUSE linux. It took me a long time to get my wireless card working but it seems to be working now. It is nice to finally have this going.

For those who are keeping track I had a second interview today for a job that I would love to have. I was told that I would hear from them by Friday so I will be sure to post the outcome. I feel pretty good about it but I don’t want to count that chicken until it hatches.

Finally, I feel like I am beginning to get back to my normal self. I am catching up on some much needed rest emotionally and spiritually. I appreciate all of the prayers that some of you have been offering on my behalf.

One of my favorite political figures is Vaclav Havel. I have blogged about him before, I use his quote for my mantra and I think his book, The Art of the Impossible: Politics As Morality in Practice : Speeches and Writings, 1990-1996 should be required reading for ecclesial dreamers in our moment of history.

A few days ago this article about Havel was put out. I think it will be interesting to see how this story develops. Maybe soon we will all be vacationing in Cuba smoking good cigars.

I couldn’t resist posting this when I saw it.

Here are four more news articles that discuss the new computer system for Colorado Welfare applicants and recipients. For those who are interested, I work at the county level supporting the users who are using this new system. Denver county is the largest county in the state population wise so we are getting hit pretty hard with this change. For the past two years I have been involved in testing the new system and providing training for our staff. The actual roll out was delayed twice before finally going live 9-1-2004. I will not post my personal opinions about this here but as you can imagine the work load through a transition of this magnitude is overwhelming even in the best of circumstances. I am very tired.

this news brief explains what I have been wrestling with for the past few months at my day job.

This is how I have been feeling for the past month or so

bq. “Let thy speech be better than silence, or be silent.”
Dionysius the Elder (c.430-367 BC); tyrant of Syracuse.